Rat Wars!

In an old farmhouse like ours the problem of mice is endemic, like the poor they're always with us and every autumn, when the weather begins to bite, they're inside like a shot toasting their paws in front of the fire. There follows the annual battle for supremacy with cheese and chocolate (we like them to die happy) traps - the traps give them a terminal headache.

Only once before have we had a problem with rats and that was fought tooth and nail with Mole Smokes, Slaymor and serious traps (what's more serious than fatal?) what I mean is cage traps and drowning.

Now we have the problem again it would seem, judging by the gnawed hard plastic garbage containers! Once again Super Exterminator II put his underpants on over his trousers and sprang into action with a devilishly cunning plan. With a 6x6x4 inch cardboard box with a rat sized hole cut in one end and half filled with Slaymor (an anticoagulant poison) the box was placed in the coal shed just where the garbage containers await collection.

On two consecutive mornings the 'trap' has been inspected, only to find the box stuffed with dead leaves, bits of debris and lumps of anthracite! Now either something funny is going on or the rats are taking the piss!

It would seem that every time we displace his barriers in the bait box he builds the next one even greater, but last night he exceeded all expectations. When we lifted the lid we found the bait, or what was left of it, shoved up to one end and the rest of the box packed tight with anthracite, a wooden plug shoved into the hole and a flat piece of plank placed across the entrance! This rat is going to die of a heart attack from moving all this stuff before the poison gets him!

I said it would take a devious mind to work out what he is up to and sure enough Maggie came up with the answer. This rat thinks he's hit the jackpot, he's found a food mine. And like all prospectors he's staked his claim and is damned if anyone else is going to find it.

Can't wait to see what he comes up with tonight!

He didn’t come up with anything, in fact he didn’t come up! I didn’t know whether to cheer or feel disappointed.